yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
