dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
