White coat. Heels.
I just cut my nipple shaving
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
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