If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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