he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
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