i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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