there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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