I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize