I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
