i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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