So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
