i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I just had sex on a roof
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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