his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
