Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
