look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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