The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
