So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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