did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I just pynch a tree in the face
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
