He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
