1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I checked into jail on foursquare
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize