Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
even my farts smell like vagina
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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