I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
