there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
