He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
