We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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