I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
time to smoke my breakfast
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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