Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize
