I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
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