i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
My penis needs a shock collar
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
