I'm drive I can fine osifer
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
