He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Randomize
