So drunk its hurt
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
