I hate your face
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
My pussy is not your playground.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
