the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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