I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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