I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
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