70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
My ass is underappreciated
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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