"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
