She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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