That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
you didnt know i had herpes?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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