we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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