Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
