In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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