sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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