And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
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