i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
