He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
