So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
