we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
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