she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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