this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
