just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
