really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
porn star boner night. come get it.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
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