So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
