The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
