Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
me + whiskey = a bad person
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
