we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
