U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I want a musical about memes.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize