I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
