the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
