If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
