blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
